Today is day 66 alcohol free! As I wake up early and reflect on my life this morning I’m very intrigued by the vast difference I feel. It truly is like night and day and like there is a good me and a “bad” me. That’s funny really because I know I’m not “bad” but when I let the wine witch voice control me many bad things happened to me with my health and just overall how I felt.
I remember feeling so lethargic and tired. I didn’t have any energy for myself or for anything besides work and drinking and recovering from drinking. My health and weight suffered greatly due to the lack of exercise and healthy foods. I tended to allow more unhealthy foods due to laziness during times of drinking or recovering from drinking. I was not able to spend time reading consistently and I didn’t grow much from a personal growth standpoint.
Since January 1st I have not had a drop of alcohol. I have not even thought about it much. It’s so weird to say that but it must have finally been my time to “click” with it and get my shit together! I have only thought about the “fuzzy allure” of a glass of wine on a few occasions and I got through those pretty quickly. There is a part of me that is still hopeful that one day I could have 1-2 glasses of wine every week or two and be happy about it and see it like a treat, like I do when I have a special boba tea or something with extra calories that is consumed!
I don’t have any plans for my future self as far as if or when I will drink again. I know that I am finishing my 75 Hard journey which ends in about 17 days. Once that is over I will make some decisions on what I will do. One thing I’ve realized is that the alcohol calories didn’t make me fat as much as the fatigue and lack of motivation from excessive consumption did. So I know for sure I will never go back to that.
I never want to feel drunk and sick and hungover again. I don’t know if I ever want to drink again. It’s a gray area for me right now. I don’t know if it would be a slippery slope or if I would have really changed. But I know I don’t miss much about it!
I’ve lost 12 pounds so far and am shocked it’s not more. I had over 40 to drop and I thought for sure dropping alcohol and 1.5 hours a day of exercise along with an extremely healthy diet would make it happen faster! But I’m ok with it. I’m enjoying each day and the process of self discovery now more than I have in years!
I find I fall into bed exhausted and up early with so much to do that I don’t even know how I survived with alcohol the way I did! It’s weird but I feel like a totally different person. Anyone else feel that way?