Day 1

Today, January 4th, 2020 is my first day on my sober journey to my new life.

I’ve been anxiously awaiting this day with much excitement. I’ve been drinking a lot for many years (25 plus) and especially heavily this past year.

I’m hoping to document my journey to creating the real me here on my blog and to find inspiration from others on the same journey.

I’m feeling pretty tired today due to a New Year’s Eve get a way with good friends to St. Augustine FL which involved lots of drinking. In fact, on NYE I managed to get myself so plastered I could not walk home (less than a mile). It was humiliating and my teen boys both saw me (unable to walk) when my husband and his best friend helped me to my bed. How embarrassing and disrespectful I was to myself and them. The other nights I was better behaved but still managed to drink quite heavily.

I’m so tired of it. And tired of the same boring conversations with drunk friends. Seems like such a waste of time. I know I will soon have tons of time on my hands and it will be up to me to fill that time with things that actually fill me up instead of drain and zap the real me.

Honestly, I’m not even sure who I will become. I can’t wait to shed about 50 pounds and see how that feels.

I can’t wait to just be happy again and be alcohol free. It’s such a blessing to have support from this blog. I’m not very open with my friends and family about how I truly feel about my alcohol consumption– not even really totally honest with my husband. So this serves as the way for me to really get things off my chest and hopefully move through this new year with a new me unfolding.

Happy 2020 to everyone and day 1 is underway.

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Published by lisamarie2015

I just turned 50 and am ready to make 2020 the year of major change for myself and my family! I am a realtor, an artist and a fitness lover. I am ready to tackle some of those difficult things in life that seem to get put off and put off and see where this new road of focus and intention takes me.

16 thoughts on “Day 1

  1. Woo! Day 1. That’s great. What helped me was blogging frequently (maybe even every day) for the first month so I felt connected to support and accountable. Also, just trying to be sober and allowing myself anything I need to stay sober (including bags of candy and hiding out in bed with a book super early to avoid the witching hours). Do what you have to do, whatever that is. You can do it!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Yep MsNewLeaf is totally right. It’s exhausting … but if you take the advice of all the others that have been there and got past it, and just rest and sleep when you need to and can it really helps. I allowed myself loads of ‘me’ time, ate what I wanted and if I needed to go to bed at 7.30 pm I did!

    My teen boys are really proud of me and I realised my behaviour when drinking had a big impact on them. That was hard to discover. I also had not been honest about how much I was drinking .. but now I find I am telling people the truth of it.

    Keep reaching out and getting support. What you blog about will support others too

    Congrats on day 1
    ❤️❤️💪
    Claire xx

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well it’s always tough dealing with family stress and drama. I think I’m actually less over reactive to situations now and there is less ‘shouting’, more ‘talking’. Being alcohol free has definitely reduced my irritability and quick temper! 😆

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yep. The problems, issues and challenges remain but we start to deal with it differently I think. That’s the change, in us and our reactions and behaviours. Then that impacts on how things unfold.
        Good luck with it. My eldest son is 15 .. it’s so bloody hard sometimes. Xx

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Congratulations!

    I was where you are today exactly 411 days ago. That was my Day One. About a month prior to that, that was when I finally realized I couldn’t not drink. I tried. I did everything I could possibly do to not drink, but I still continued going down that rabbit hole every single day. I simply didn’t have the physical nor the emotional willpower to stay away from alcohol. I didn’t understand the disease of alcohol addiction and alcoholism, and how it had completely rewired my brain and my thinking. The battle I was facing wasn’t just the physical cravings, but also the emotional urge to drink.

    If you do have a physical addiction, I would encourage you to be mindful of the fact that do-it-yourself detoxing can be and sometimes is fatal. Alcoholic seizure isn’t uncommon. People have died trying to ween themselves off of alcohol. I know this from personal experience, I tried it and it required emergency medical attention.

    Alcoholism is serious business. It’s the only disease that tells me that I don’t have a disease and that everything is okay. Again, that’s the mental part of the disease.

    These things aside… if you find yourself struggling, know that there are recovery programs that can help. Many of them are absolutely free. What I’ve learned is that for me – I couldn’t do this on my own. But I wish you the very best, however you choose to begin your journey. The key is to simply wake up each morning and do whatever it takes to not drink that day. All I have is today. Yesterday’s gone, and tomorrow hasn’t come yet. But today – I have the choice to not drink.

    Good luck!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for sharing that info. I’ve quit for a month here and there or a week and I don’t have any physical withdraw symptoms, just bad habits and emotional reasons. I have not contemplated a group besides online at this point, but I will keep that option in mind for sure. Keep up the good work!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Good choice! Be kind to yourself. Read sober journey books, any books, blogs, eat what you like, and don’t drink. You may get grumpy but hang in there. You may find it hard to get to sleep. Read some more.

    Liked by 1 person

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