Yesterday was a hard day topped with crazy dreams!

My husband and I acting like we didn’t get the call during our video shoot yesterday!

My 16 year old son got into a lot of trouble at the end of 2019. This lead to me increasing my drinking and to me smoking almost a pack a day of cigarettes (I was formerly a “social smoker).” We found him smoking pot and sneaking out at the beginning of his 10th grade school year and it ended with him being caught in the bathroom at his high school accused of attempting to deal drugs. He was kicked out of that school (a great school) and sent to an alternative school for “bad kids” or “kids with bad grades”. We are still awaiting a court date to see what his fate will be with regard to the charges. Needless to say it was and has been very stressful trying to make the right decisions and to get him back on track. It definitely was an excuse for the wine habit to increase from August to December of 2019, ultimately making it clear that I needed to just quit.

Well, yesterday we got a call from the alternative school. They love him there. He’s not the normal bad kid. He’s super smart and he doesn’t belong there (or should I say is different from the rest there). He was searched and they found vapes on him. He was suspended for 5 more days. This is the second suspension this school year. The first one was 10 days. I was so mad. I couldn’t fathom why he would take vapes to school. First of all he’s promised us he’s not vaping and second he knows they search him there and it’s a major offense. Well, apparently the girl he sits next to asked him to hold them because she was called to the office and sure she’d be searched. He’s only known this girl 6 weeks and was dumb enough to say yes. Yep, they called him too because the teacher probably got wind of it and he then was in trouble for having them on his person and she now got in more trouble for distribution instead of her just having them. How dumb can it get? This kid has got to get his head in the right place.

He was caught up in a mess he created for himself and now he’s paying the price at this school. We’ve even considered sending him to a boarding school to get him away from these bad influences he’s gotten to know here. We haven’t decided. We need to wait for his court date. I am certain of one thing. It is a super hard decision. And I love him so much. Parenting is hard.

Yesterday dealing with this stress I thought about how I was drinking to numb it last year and I resolved to take deep breaths and not drink. It worked. I didn’t drink.

However I had such crazy drinking dreams all night! I was surrounded by bottles and boxed wine. Tons of it. Tons of friends drinking it. I could smell it and see it flowing! In my dream I contemplated just drinking it. Just that one time and then starting over. But in my dream I thought about the people who read my blog and how I didn’t want to disappoint them. I thought: I could just keep it a secret and not tell them! They would never know. And then I said to myself, no, this blog is my diary, it’s my place to be totally honest. No bullshit. Just the truth. And I’m not drinking! I actually had this conversation with myself in my dream. And it is vividly memorable. I thought it was interesting.

So thank you all! Thank you for your support, thanks for reading and thanks for sharing your stories. It is important and it is worthwhile! Hope everyone has a great day and enjoys the post.

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Published by lisamarie2015

I just turned 50 and am ready to make 2020 the year of major change for myself and my family! I am a realtor, an artist and a fitness lover. I am ready to tackle some of those difficult things in life that seem to get put off and put off and see where this new road of focus and intention takes me.

8 thoughts on “Yesterday was a hard day topped with crazy dreams!

  1. Wow what a really difficult and emotional thing for you to have to deal with. We didn’t come equipped for this parenting challenge did we? Well I certainly don’t feel I am. It’s like feeling around in the dark, pressing something random and hoping it’s the right thing! I really hope he can turn it around. Brilliant job not drinking too. So tough but definitely the best choice.

    The dreaming thing is strange. I dreamt about alcohol in the initial few weeks after stopping .. vivid dreams where I actually drank wine and woke up in a panic. I’d feel an overwhelming sense of relief when I realised it hadn’t happened! Now I have dreams about the toxic people in my life who treated me like crap and who I have recently moved on from. They are reoccurring at the moment. All very strange.

    Keep going, stay tough and strong and always remember you can only do your best and that is good enough ❤️
    Claire xxx 🤗

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh, so hard! That is a terribly difficult place to be in with your kid. Mine is only eight. But, I know it’s coming! My little sister got into a humongous amount of trouble with drugs, etc, in high school and later, and my parents really struggled. I’m sure they were pulling their hair out. But I’m happy to say that she is a functioning adult today. You’ll get there! I’m SO proud of you for not drinking!!!🤗

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I am so sorry to hear what you’re going through with your son. That is difficult! It’s hard as parents to figure out which way to best guide our kids, and it’s hard on us as parents in other ways. I can only imagine the feelings… You’ve got this, and not drinking is the best decision you could make to look at this situation with clear and rational thoughts. Sending hugs and best wishes!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for sharing and who cares what anyone thinks of the decisions you make for yourself and your family. You’re a kick ass patent based on what I just read because you did do something to help him. I know plenty of parents who make excuses for their kids and then end up paying the price later. You are being proactive!!! And he’s going to make mistakes time and time again but it seems like you guys are always going to be there for him and that’s what is important. I think you’re amazing and I am rooting you guys! Teenage years are tough. I taught middle school for 14 years and the shit they go through, man it’s a trip. Wishing you all the best ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! I needed that! I don’t feel like a kick ass parent but I will start thinking of myself as that now. Omg I can’t imagine how you did it- teaching that age group must have been a lot of work!

      Like

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