Experiment on myself

So, I’ve done this experiment several times and it always yields the same results. Gray area drinking is a real issue many face and I am definitely one of those people.

I started the year 75 days sober. I finished that test (experiment) and I had lost 12 pounds and I was feeling amazing.

I then decided I would try drinking a little bit again. Well, as normal that little bit slowly creeped back to where I was before with almost daily drinking. And some smoking. This has been a repeating cycle for the last several years.

So I’m here again documenting my experience. I feel silly to keep doing this. And I’m over it. I know I need to just quit. I’ve never really wrapped my head around quitting. I have always set a time limit to meet. But this last time I have realized I just need to quit.

Since going back to drinking the last (approximately) 75 days I’ve managed to gain all the weight back that I’d lost. I have been lethargic. And to top it off I know my cholesterol numbers are taking a big hit. I don’t understand why in my mind it’s okay to experiment with my health. It’s so ridiculous!

I am back to where I started on January 1 and I’m feeling so silly that I didn’t keep going. If I had I’d probably be down another 12 or more pounds and feeling good.

I think I’ve been in denial. I guess it must be! My weight and size make me uncomfortable even though I pull it off okay I know how disappointed I am in the way I look. Going away to the beach this holiday weekend I know I will be ashamed and embarrassed of my circumference!

I love to see the successes of those around me that have made it and are finally free of the alcohol curse. I appreciate your blogs and encouragement. I am back to square one and this time I want to make it a permanent lifestyle change. I’ve proven time and time again that I’m not able to experiment successfully.

Tired of this lifestyle!

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Published by lisamarie2015

I just turned 50 and am ready to make 2020 the year of major change for myself and my family! I am a realtor, an artist and a fitness lover. I am ready to tackle some of those difficult things in life that seem to get put off and put off and see where this new road of focus and intention takes me.

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