In the past everything was an excuse to drink. I drank to reward myself for working hard and I drank to deal with stress and to celebrate success. Any reason was a good reason in my mind. I “deserved” it and I considered it my right! I drank a lot and often!
Over the years I began to notice how drinking zapped me of energy and caused me to not do many other things. I would drink and sit around. I didn’t paint, workout, garden, or bike ride. I drank and recovered from drinking. I worked a lot too (I didn’t only sit around and drink)! I did find myself in a daily cycle of working hard and drinking hard. It became routine and a complete bore! It is not easy to break that cycle, but it is doable. In fact, once your mind is set, it’s quite easy I think.
But your mind has to be clearly set that it’s what you want.
The mind is so very very powerful. It can do anything you want.
I set my start date to quit drinking forever to June 1, 2022. I actually moved it up to May 30th because I was just ready to get started.
Since that time I’ve had to deal with the death of an old friend who passed away unexpectedly at 65 and the return of an old friend who hurt me really badly (the husband of the deceased).
Two years ago this couple were our best friends. We travelled together and had been close friends for over 15 years. He worked for us as an independent contractor on our real estate team. In 2020 we ended our relationship due to his and her behavior regarding business. They did and said some really mean things and caused us (me and my husband own the business) a LOT of stress. Honestly, we thought we’d never see them or talk to them ever again. Two years went by and we were happy to no longer count them as friends. They were so hurtful to us!
Greed and money can be a very bad thing to get in the middle of a friendship. And they let that happen.
On Friday, May 27th, we received a text from him (old friend) that she (his wife) had passed away in her sleep that morning. she was a healthy 65 year old.
What? Talk about a shock.
We contemplated the situation and decided to respond with a text expressing our sorrow and offered to talk if he needed or wanted to. Well, this lead to him calling and talking. And then us attending the funeral. Then him approaching us telling us he learned from his mistakes and that he wanted back on our team (business).
And I did all of this without alcohol.
Not a drop. One or two times the thought crossed my mind but I pushed it right out. I don’t need alcohol to cope or deal! I’m perfectly capable.
I don’t know yet if we will allow him back on our team and in our life. But he and my husband have a 30 year friendship, he’s just lost his wife of 28 years and he was a good friend for many years.
*Until he forgot who trained and taught him everything he knows about the business (me) and he and his wife decided they deserved more and told us we weren’t needed anymore (so they could make more money).
Why does he want back on the team now? Why did he treat us like that? Will he do it again?
These are questions we will need answered.
And we will do it without alcohol! Clear headed. Full heart in. And I like it! I can feel and think so clearly 2 weeks into this alcohol free life. It’s been a rough two weeks too, to say the least.
I know I’m in the early stages of my alcohol free life and I know there will be many more challenges ahead, but I’m up for it to face them and continue this new life for good.
Life is so strange. You never know when your time is up! Live and love fully! That’s what counts most.