Rain is Refreshing Renewal

I’m so happy it’s 100% chance of rain today on January 1, 2021 because to me, rain always has symbolized renewal. It has been present at many important milestones in my life and I always recognize it during times of transition. I’m excited about the new year and making some basic changes in my life.

Yesterday was a hard day topped with crazy dreams!

My 16 year old son got into a lot of trouble at the end of 2019. This lead to me increasing my drinking and to me smoking almost a pack a day of cigarettes (I was formerly a “social smoker).” We found him smoking pot and sneaking out at the beginning of his 10th grade

Day 11 of the new me – feeling STRONG

It’s 5am and I’m up and excited to face the day. I feel wonderfully recharged after a great night sleep and I’m feeling positive because I can feel my life improving every single day. So far it’s been easy being sober. I haven’t thought much at all about drinking and have had very few cravings.

Drunk vs sober

I was thinking of the many contrasts and thought I’d start a list that we can all add to. This should be fun. Numb vs feeling Embarrassed vs proud Present vs absent Dying vs living Self centered vs loving Head ache vs clear head Red eyes vs clear eyes Sad vs happy Numb vs nervous

Hair day! Usually I’d be 3 sheets to the wind by now!

Hair day always meant stopping at the bar next door to the salon to slam down 2 chardonnays and smoke a few cigarettes prior to going to the salon for 2 hours (which would serve me 2 wines)! I would then head home and just keep on drinking. This would be a binge of at

“Welcome to the 4am club”

Said my doctor, an older woman, a few years ago. I was in for my annual check up and had mentioned that I was having a hard time sleeping through the night. Of course, when I had filled out the form asking how many alcoholic drinks I drank each week I lied terribly! What would

Was I Blind? The wine made me blind and numb!

It’s only day 6 but I’m really shocked at how I’m feeling. I’ve done dry January and different dry months in the past but the goal was always to drink again in a “controlled” way. This time, with there being no more drinking to “look forward to” I am finding myself evaluating where I am

Let’s try this again, take 3!

Yep, it’s that time of year again. I’ve spent the last year drinking as heavily as ever!  It was a “better” year because we spent All of January sober and subsequently lost about 12-15 pounds.   We started back to drinking in February and didn’t stop again until January 31, 2016!  I was able to

Time to be accountable and make it happen!

My high blood pressure was first diagnosed about 20 years ago when I was undergoing a life insurance test and it was slightly elevated.  I tend to get nervous around doctors and over the years have been on blood pressure medicine for most of the time.  However, I have never really tried to do things

Food, juicing, smoothies… clarity

It has been a very interesting week.  I have been experiencing moments of clarity and in those moments of clarity, I feel like such a failure on so many levels. I normally would not admit this feeling.  I would just pretend everything is wonderful and to the outside world I would appear to be a